Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Advice for the Future

[inspired by the Sunscreen Speech originally by Mary Schmich]

-take a piece of gum when offered
-always apologize, always forgive
-take a step back from complicated situations and analyze it from the other persons perspective
- wear bright colors
- smile
- be confident in who you are
- don't let others transfer bad energy to you
- ALWAYS dress up for Halloween - its the only time you get to be a child again
- think of other people's feelings before your own
- put your heart into anything you do, the difference will show
- laugh constantly
- cry when you need to
- dance!
- perform in front of others at least once, the experience will change your life
- don't be afraid of who you really are
- indulge in unnecessary items once in a while
- like Nike says, "Just Do It."
- ask Grandpa about his childhood, and listen to his stories.. you will learn so much
- when all else fails, depend on family to be there
- enjoy the simple pleasures of Saturday morning cartoons
- make time for the ones you care about, forget the rest
- be thankful for every day
- love unconditionally
- stop being indecisive, life is short
- dont be jealous, its a waste of energy
- appreciate the beauty of nature

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Hi, We've Just Met, But Here's My Life Story

I have always wondered why people who just meet others like to share their whole life story. Okay, not even meet per se - even just in passing.

I have previously worked as a sales clerk in various retail stores, and it always seems to be that when customers are making their purchases, thats when they like to start telling me all about their lives. I ask them, "Did you find everything okay?" and their response would be, "Yes, I did. I was looking for a dress for a wedding and I found this beautiful green one. Oh, I'm going to my grandsons wedding this weekend and I have to wear something nice because his mother is going through a rough divorce and my grandsons father is bringing his new girlfriend who happens to be about 20 years younger than him and she already has a child. But who am I to judge?" And so on...

Now I work in a doctor's office and the same thing seems to come up- people telling me all about them or their lives when all I'm asking for is a $10 copay. Even when I am the shopper and I'm making my purchase at the register, the clerks will tell their crazy long stories to me. I just dont understand when sharing so much information with strangers became the norm.

What is this strange urge that people have to tell others all about themselves?

Has this ever happened to you?

Friday, September 25, 2009

Already Gone

Shes physically still here, but not mentally
her heart is not in it
She doesn't feel the same
She pretends, but she doesn't give a shit

She'll say the words
that you want to hear
but she'll never ever mean it
that's the truth my dear

So please let her go
release her, let her free
So she can be the person
that she wants to be

I know it hurts you
but don't hang on long
shes already forgotten you
shes already gone

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

little girls dreams dont always come true

Every little girl dreams of growing up, meeting the perfect man, falling in love, getting married, and having a family.

But what if its not that simple?

What if that little girl grows up and gets the perfect man, the marriage, and the family that she always wanted-or thought she wanted- but it was not what she craved anymore?

Now, she yearns to be set free - free from the responsibilities of being a mother, free from the grasp of marriage, free to be alone and have her own space once again.

Her husband is amazing- he is a good looking, kind-hearted jokester with a passion for art and respect for all. He has more than enough love to give her, hes loyal, and he is always a gentleman. Her children are engaging, with young pearly smiles and an eagerness to learn, soaking up any information they come across.

Any amount of women would LOVE to be in her situation - married to a good looking man who is crazy about her and their children, has goals for himself, and has beautiful children.

So why does she feel trapped?

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Gift-wrapped Box

Every day, I walk around with a gift-wrapped box in my pocket. I keep it there to remind myself of what I once felt, in hopes that I may feel that way again someday.

You see, It was for a woman. Her name was Anna. She had a radiant olive skin tone, long flowing brown hair, big green eyes, freckles scattered across her face and a smile that would make your heart melt. She was average height for a woman but had the longest legs I'd ever seen. We had been together for almost 3 years and I knew she was The One.

She had my heart; and then she crushed it.

One day, I found myself in a jewelry store looking through one glass display after another, searching for a surprise gift to give her. I began talking to the sales lady and she showed me some impressive diamonds in beautiful settings. When she told me that they were usually engagement rings, I started to think. "I've been with Anna for so long and I know shes the woman I want to be with," I thought, "but is it the right time to do this?" I stood at the glass display holding a 2 carat princess cut ring set in platinum, just thinking of the idea of Anna in a wedding dress. Her walking down the aisle with her father, meeting me at the end of the walkway; me, placing the ring on her dainty finger, saying "I do", making her my wife, knowing that no other could have her.

I decided then and there to purchase that ring and then I had the saleswoman wrap it up for me. I would keep it with me until the perfect moment arose. Little did I know, that gift-wrapped box would remain in my pocket for a long time.

I came home feeling euphoric about my little secret and plotting when would be the best time to propose. When I walked into our apartment, I saw Anna had left her cell phone on the counter. I chuckled and said, "Silly Anna, always forgetting things." She had already left for work, and I knew that Anna had a tendency to forget things. Just as I spoke, her phone began to buzz violently.

Thinking that it was her calling her phone to locate it, I picked it up. 5 New Photos. I tapped the little button without hesitation and opened her photos. All 5 were of a male, "Chad", who was NOT me. He had a separate message for each photo that had been sent. "I miss you baby" was what one read. The second, "When can I see you again?" and the third, "here's something to remind you of me". I didn't go any further, because the pictures that came along with these messages were enough for me to realize what was going on.

I threw her cell phone against the wall, screamed and proceeded to punch the wall. I sat for a minute, dumbfounded. Then, after a long trembling moment, I collected my cool, and began to pack. After about an hour, all of my belongings were packed into my luggage haphazardly and as a last-moment gesture, I picked up her phone and placed it on the table, along side with a note that read in my scribbled handwriting, "ITS OVER. GOODBYE."

I walked out the door, and never looked back.

So here I stand, with a gift-wrapped box in my pocket and hope in my heart.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

My Personal Vendetta Against BMW Drivers

I have always hated BMW drivers. Its just something about how arrogant they are, or how they think they own the roads around here. Now, I'm not being presumptuous because I don't just judge them by the way they drive - personal interactions have also been added into account as well.

The "stereotypical" BMW driver is a 20-40 something year old guy who is usually a business exec or something special like that. He thinks that because he paid $60,000 for his vehicle he has all the right to weave in and out of traffic, cut in front of others, and basically disregard all common-sense rules of the road. Now, granted, not all BMW are of the stereotypical variety, but they all tend to drive like jerks nonetheless.

I had an experience with one such driver last night, and not only did he cut in front of me while making an illegal lane change, he then decided to egg me on by laughing while stuck side-by-side at the very next red light. I decided to be *tactful* and just wave at him, leaving him with a message of "Thank you very much, jerk." He decided that he wanted to have more fun with me and continued to laugh and stare directly at me, trying to engage me into retaliation.

At this point, typically I would have flipped him the finger and felt justified, but I decided to take it a step further since he wanted to play that kind of game. As the traffic signal changed from red to green, I drove off of the line smoothly and he revved his engine to show how masculine he was. I then made a gesture with my thumb and pointer finger about an inch away from each other and waved it in my passenger window so he could get a good view. I mouthed the words, "This big," to him, and at first he didn't understand what I was saying, but after a minute he did and the look on his face was very surprised. "Your d***," I mouthed and pointed to my crotch, "is this big," while using the hand gesture. Yes, I have balls. If you want to play games on the road with me, I will play back. Oh, by the way, I was already in a combative mood so you know I was ready to go.

He didn't seem to happy with me after that, and he decided to become even MORE of an aggressive driver. He drove at the same speed that I did and waved his iPhone in the window [I don't understand the purpose of this] and made a crude gesture at me in regards to what I put in my mouth. That didn't bother me one bit, and from that point on I chose to ignore him. He weaved in and out of traffic to tail me, and tried to do anything in his power for me to engage him further in his little game. He honked his horn to get my attention, but I just sang quietly and drank my coffee as I drove to my destination. I was satisfied that I got my point across.

So, my dear BMW drivers, this is to you: I am waging war against you. If you want to drive like an ass, I will NOT give the finger, because that just doesn't say enough. I will, however, let you know in my own way that I think your driving is unacceptable and that you are an ass. I do not appreciate the way that you drive, thinking that you are all that just because you own a too-expensive, self-important jerk-mobile.

Note to my readers:I'm not saying that ALL BMW owners are rude drivers, because I have encountered BMW drivers who are very courteous. That, in my opinion, is the minority of the BMW drivers. I also know that some readers will say that all drivers are jerks, they just happen to drive BMW's, and to that my response is simply this - this is my point of view. You have every right to disagree. Thank you.

New Place, New Space

It's been just over a week since moving into a condo with my boyfriend, and so far I'm loving the experience. Sure, we've moved before, but living alone with each other is a completely different experience than living with roomates.

First of all, everything is OURS. Nothing belongs to anybody else. I dont have to worry about using someone else's hairbrush or someone eating all my food or wondering whose clothes are still in the wash. I can put something in the fridge and now I dont have to worry about it "dissappearing". If my double-fudge brownie is missing, I know exactly who took it.

Since we have our own space, we can decorate the place however we want. For the first time, I got really interested in designing each room differently. Pictures on shelves, flowers, and candles. Oh, how I love candles - the large pillar ones, ones that smell really good like flowers, and the decorative "just for looks" candles. I love being able to make the place our own and actually making it feel like home.

Also, having a place that is just for me and him makes things a lot more comfortable. If I want to take a shower, I dont have to sneak from the bedroom to the bathroom hoping that nobody will see me wrapped up in just a towel. I dont have to worry about being dressed when someone walks into the room asking to borrow something. Personally, I like to walk around in underwear and maybe a shirt and now I can do that freely without worrying about being indecent.

I am so happy to have a place to call our own. I know tons of people move into new places all the time, but to experience it personally is one of the best feelings I've had.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Memoir Exercise

The sterile hospital smell burned my nostrils as I entered the long corridor. While I walked down the barren white hallway all I could think was, "Why white?" Why couldn't they add some color to this terrible place? As I entered his hospital room, the relief that washed over me was like a tidal wave. There he was; his normally strong, sturdy frame somehow looked fragile in the paper-thin hospital gown. I walked towards his bed, my heels clicking with every step I took, echoing in the quiet room. I grabbed his cold hand and he shuddered away from the heat of mine. Tears silently fell from my face as I said to him, "Today you're coming home."

Thursday, September 3, 2009

The 7 Worst Things To Say To Someone Who Just Got Dumped

7) "I guess he's just not that into you."
6) "He told me that you were below the Vicky Mendoza Line on the Hot/Crazy Scale"
5) "So, now that you two are done, can I have his number?"
4) "I think you should stick to one night stands, you're better at that"
3) "Well, now you have more time for your real friends - Jack Daniels and Jose Cuervo"
2) "It's okay, not everyone is accustomed to hairy armpits"
1) "You wouldn't have such a hard time finding someone if you lost 20 pounds"

8 Reasons Why It's Okay For Men To Lie

8) The truth is less exciting

7) They think that they have superhuman lying abilities

6) Men would rather tell a lie than get yelled at by a woman
[ "No, of course your butt doesn't look big in those jeans"]

5) Men lie because women lie, and women lie because men lie, etc.

4)They believe that women are better off NOT knowing the truth

3) They are too embarrassed for what they did

2) They are Spiderman and they must lie to protect their identity

1) They're bound to do it anyway